Finding resources for low-income seniors.

I recently received an email from a friend of mine that was asking for a donation to her favorite non profit.  As I continued reading, I learned that the group was an organization that drives seniors to and from their chemo appointments.  As I thought more and more about it, I realized how critical those local, grass-root organizations are to so many families.  Meals on Wheels, senior driving services, and the senior centers that provide socialization to seniors are critical to many families.

Here is our problem: It’s easy to find resources when you have the ability to pay for them, as those groups have savvy marketing campaigns directed to seniors.  But what about the seniors that are relying on the services of shoe-string budget agencies?  Those groups that provide resources to seniors and their families that are having trouble making it financially don’t have advertising budgets to let you know of their existence.  This usually translates to families needlessly suffering and seniors struggling when they don’t need to just because they aren’t aware of services.

Please know that no matter what your needs are, there could be resources available in your community.  I first encourage families to reach out to your local senior center first.  Call and explain your situation ... You can simply say something like, “My doctor just encouraged me to no longer drive - and now I’m stuck at home.  What groups are out there that would help me get from point a to point b?”  Or you can simply say, “We’ve noticed that dad hasn’t been eating any more and we’re struggling with his nutrition.  What groups provide proper nutrition to seniors living on their own?”  Those senior centers will no exactly who you should call.

Beyond that, there are senior experts in your community.  Local chapters of the National Council on Aging (www.ncoa.org) can most definitely help you.  And if you’re needing help because you’ve been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, don’t forget to call the Alzheimer’s Association (www.alz.org).

Just because money is tight doesn’t mean that you need to do everything on your own.  There are resources out there that can help aid your family ... And those groups can aid you through navigating through all of the paperwork and confusion.

Every senior and family deserves the chance to embrace and enjoy life through every chapter.  Don’t be afraid to make phone calls to find your “aging ally”.  

To the beautiful road of life - no matter the stage,

Michelle

The Senior Housing Decision

I had a meeting the other day with my graphic designer and friend.  As I was going through the concept of Marilyn’s Family (mentoring, guiding, and empowering the ageless senior spirit), I focused for a minute on the empowerment piece.  I was discussing the challenges that so many families have in moving their loved one into a senior housing community.

He sat back and said, “Yep - I get it.  This makes sense to me ... You know, no matter how much I knew that moving my mom into Assisted Living was the right thing to do, I couldn’t shake the guilt.”

He represented so many families I’ve worked with when he said that.  The feeling of taking your parent, grandparent, or loved one out of their home that they’ve known for years and into an Independent or Assisted Living Community can make even the most confident person question.  

Unfortunately, I’ve worked with too many families that let guilt make the decision for them.  They can’t bring themselves to have the conversation with a sibling or the parent due to the pain it will cause ... So they ignore small warning signs (cognitive decline, changes in behavior, etc) and tell themselves that it’s “not that bad” and that their loved one is still capable of living alone.  

Putting off that conversation can sometimes make the situation even worse.  Families that ignore warning signs set their loved one up for malnutrition, serious falls, rapid cognitive decline, and even in rare cases, falling prey to senior scams due to loneliness.    

Moving is an obviously difficult life transition - and the further a senior declines, the harder it is on them to transition.  Waiting too long puts seniors in a difficult situation - they deal with depression and isolation due to feeling self-conscious and/or not being cognitively capable any longer of handling extreme change.  

Now on the other hand, seniors that move into an Independent or Assisted Living Community while they are still able to make friends and weather life difficulties truly succeed!  They stay healthier for a longer period of time and enjoy a higher quality of life.  

My point is simply this: if you are an adult child needing to have “that” conversation with your mom or dad, make sure you understand that sometimes the guilt needs to come by leaving your parent alone - NOT by giving them well rounded meals, medication assistance, and socialization.

If you’re struggling with guilt, or are experiencing difficult family dynamics, I want you to know that you’re not alone.  No matter your location, there is support for you.  Feel free to leave a comment or email me for help and resources.

We all have a spirit inside of us that’s ageless.  The shell that carries our spirit around ages and wears, but remember that your aging loved one still has life to live, new experiences to encounter, and so much love to give.  

Take care of your loved one - and give them the opportunity to succeed!

To the beautiful, ageless spirit inside of us all, 

Michelle

Michelle.A.Dodd@gmail.com

Welcome to Marilyn's Family!

Welcome to Marilyn’s Family Tree!

This blog is dedicated to seniors, their families and the communities that they live in.  Through this blog, we’ll discuss life transitions, the late chapters of life, and family traditions.  But mostly, we’ll talk about remembering that though our bodies age, we all have a spirit inside of us that never ages.

Marilyn’s Family Tree has been launched in honor of my grandma, Marilyn. She became caught up in the difficulties of aging and lost hope all too soon.  My grandma was a very strong source of strength for me in my late teens and 20’s, so when she began her emotional decline, it was hard on my family - and we felt frustrated and hopeless.  During that time, I tried to call her every day to remind her of her worth, but I quickly realized that it took far more than a phone call to build her emotional strength and self-worth.  After she passed away, I knew there needed to be louder messages for seniors and their families dealing with such intense transitions and crisis.  Guidance, mentoring, and empowerment for seniors and their families became my life work.

Marilyn’s Family Tree is a place that grandchildren can talk about reaching their grandparents, adult children can discuss their frustrations, and seniors can openly vocalize their daily challenges.  There will be guest writers through this process to guide us in our journey - seniors in Assisted Living that can give guidance, adult children who understand all there is to manage with an aging parent, and medical professionals who work in this community every day.  It is my hope that we can all learn from each other through discussions and stories as we all navigate through the tricky process of aging.

Let’s begin our journey - and let’s never stop respecting the ageless spirit in us all.

To the beauty of age and wisdom,

Michelle